The British National Party and The North

British National Party
Originally uploaded by Hannah Lucy Jones

Today I am saddened. My problem is I’m a northerner and I have just heard that last Thursday my part of
The North decided that it would like to send two racists to represent it in the wider world. Both Yorkshire, where I was born and brought up, and the North West, where I now live, have voted in BNP MEP’s.

How do I cope when people whom I love embrace something that I hate? This is the part of the world where the co-operative movement was born and flourished; it was here that The Labour Party (in the days when it was genuinely the party of the people) had its heartland. And now this.

Breaking News

This just in from The Provisional BBC.

PM IS "VERY ANGRY"

Gordon Brown is "very angry" about proposed bank bonuses, according to his press team. He said executives should "think of the children" and reconsider whether they really wanted more money.

The Prime Minister's spokesperson warned Brown could get "even angrier" if executives do not heed his advice, and risks getting "monumentally peeved" if they award themselves higher bonuses than last year. It is not known at what point the Prime Minister might burst. Brown said "We are leading the world in criticising the bankers, and in making them think very hard about the consequences of their actions." He refused to rule out putting bankers on the naughty step.

David Cameron denounced Brown for taking no real action, and said that Conservatives would have taken no action much earlier than Labour. He also suggested nationalising the top 100 UK companies and putting the banks in the hands of workers' communes. However, a report by the Daily Mirror later showed his butler was following him all day with his fingers crossed.

Can't give a proper hat tip to the author as it is crucial that the provisional BBC maintains the anonymity of its reporters so as to protect it from scurrilous accusations of political bias. Suffice it to say that the hack in question used belong to the youth fellowship at my former church. Makes you proud to have been a pastor!